Kermit The Frog Narrowly Escapes Spinning Blades Of Death. Film At 11

Dear Mister Frog,

I am glad that I didn’t run over you with my lawn mower, though this is purely for selfish reasons.  Don’t get me wrong, I am sure you’re the best froggy you can possibly be; hopping around, doing your froggy thing.  And I certainly would have felt bad, had I ended your frog-ness.  But If I saw your little froggy guts spilled all over my yard, I might have had to vomit all over your remains, and nobody wants that.


1) I hate touching paper towels. I also hate touching cardboard.  Both of these things are like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.

2)I hate sharks. I have never been to the ocean.

3) I love words.  I love to read and I love the way certain words feel in my mouth.  I love the shapes mouths take to form words, and some words I hate.  I don’t think I have a favorite word, but there are a few I hate with a deadly passion and they just make me feel icky. Lover is one. Also, pregnant is a pretty dumb word. Moist is another word I’m not a fan of. But I don’t hate them as much as I hate sharks. 

4)Sing to me and I’ll be your sucker forever. Telling me I’m funny also works well.

Putty in your hands,

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