I’ve got so many thoughts in my head I wish you could just jack directly into my brain and get it unfiltered instead of through my stupid fingers, because I can’t get the message across even if I type for a million years.
The problem is, I’ll have some Super Awesome Random Thought and think, “Man, this is really great, I should write about this.” And then I don’t get time, or I don’t feel like it so it gets put on hold, and then it just piles up with the other Really Great Thoughts. And then you go to the garage where you store all your old Really Great Thoughts, and they’re all disorganized, and the boxes aren’t labeled, and even if they were, it wouldn’t matter because they’re all thrown in there haphazardly. So you dust one of the boxes off, and peek inside and you stop and kind of stand around with a dumb look on your face and think, “This is really a job for like, a weekend or something, sorting through all this.” And then I never get around to it because oh my God where do I start?
Also, why the heck am I shifting back and forth between narrative perspectives?
This is what it’s like to talk to Rebekah on the phone. Pity her, people, really. I will ramble at that girl for solid hours. When I talk to her I am Wild Tangent Girl. It’s my super power! Or maybe a National Geographic kind of “Observe the Wild Tangent (maybe a sort of Gazelle? I dunno, get those National Geographic people on the phone) as it goes to the watering hole and forgets why it went there in the first place! Watch how it not so gracefully runs in one direction and then stops! Looks confused! Then bounds off in another direction for no apparent reason whatsoever!”